Here we are, one year since we tied the knot. Well—a year and a couple months—life gets in the way, ya know?
It’s odd. It seems impossible that waking up in the mountain home we rented with our best friends, scurrying to throw last-minute items into our honeymoon luggage, toasting with champagne as I got ready with my girls, and walking down the aisle to my teary-eyed best friend was an entire year ago. It’s still so vivid in my mind, it feels more like we’ve been married for six months.
Yet at the same time, I feel like we’ve been married for years. In a good way, though 😉 . In a way where it feels like this man has meant so much to me for going on six years, and one year seems so tiny. A way where so much has happened, so many changes, that it feels like a lifetime ago we were at that pink, marble mansion in Tate, Georgia.
I know in the grand scheme of things, one year can seem pretty minuscule. But it teaches you a whole lot about yourself, your partner, expectations, compromise, etc. (really the list goes on and on). I mean, what the heck does it even look like to “become one” in real life?
Here are a few things I thought I knew about marriage or what it would be like, and was dead wrong.
1. LIFE DOESN’T FEEL ALL THAT DIFFERENT AFTER YOU GET MARRIED
The first thing just about everyone I saw within like three months of the wedding asked, “How is #marriedlife?!” Of course immediately after the honeymoon, my response was, “OMG IT FREAKIN’ ROCKS.”
But once we were back in our apartment, working, and taking classes (cheers to getting married at 20 and not even a senior in college yet), I felt kind of bad watching the spark in people’s eyes die out when I replied, “It’s great…but it feels pretty much just like pre-married life.”
My theory is this: if you live together before getting married, it’s pretty similar. If you have never lived together before, then it would be totally different! But still, I think it’s more of the living together for the first time that obviously feels different.
2. EMPATHY OUTWEIGHS PATIENCE
I feel like some people will disagree with this one, which is totally fine. Having patience with one another might have been the piece of advice we heard the most while we were engaged. But for us, patience only goes so far. I don’t always need Emerson to just be patient. I need him to see it from my point of view, put himself in my shoes, and think about how he would want me to react if our places were switched. And I know he needs the same from me.
We don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. To be honest, it would probably get pretty boring if we always did. But I’d say 8/10 arguments could be totally avoided if we took the time to actually stop, and think about the other’s day, struggles, stresses and weaknesses.
3. I THOUGHT I WOULD WAIT LIKE 20 YEARS BEFORE I PEED IN FRONT OF EMERSON….
Yeah just throw this expectation out the window. Maybe you already have. It’s bound to happen sooner or later.
4. YOU’RE ABOUT TO DO A F*%K TON OF LAUNDRY
This one still baffles me. I literally have no idea how two people make this much laundry. It feels like the amount of laundry we do defies all rules of science, like 1 + 1 = 7. This only scares me when thinking of what laundry will look like when we have tiny, dirty offspring running around.
5. MARRIED LIFE DOES NOT EQUAL BABY FEVER
I swear from the sheer number of people who asked when I thought we’d start having little ones, you’d think that it was the norm to pop one out ASAP. Not the case. I really do want kids one day and fully believe one of Emerson’s purposes in life is to be an out-of-this-world dad. He really will be fantastic, I can already see it.
BUT being married to Emerson, traveling as often as we can, spontaneously leaving the house to hike all day or camp overnight, going out for drinks and date nights actually makes me want to postpone it for as long as possible. If you know me, you know I value my freedom over almost everything. I’m not saying kids take away all your freedom, but obviously everything is going to change. It may be for the better, but for right now, I don’t want anything to change. Well, maybe other than moving out to Colorado ;). Marriage might give you homeowner fever and an addiction to Zillow, though.
There are a lot of things that I assumed about marriage that proved to be better than I ever could have imagined too, though. Like the fact that living and doing every day with your best friend is as awesome as it sounds. There is nothing better than seeing each other after a long day at work. And that you have a built-in adventure partner for life who will be up for any spontaneous idea you have.
These photos of us on a mountain in fancy, wedding-ish attire were from our one-year anniversary trip to Colorado. We bought dirt cheap flights at awful times, filled our packs with nice clothes, put spikes on our boots, and hiked several miles to read letters to each other on top of a mountain with no one else around—other than our bomb photographers, Cedar & Pines #loveyouguys.
All in all, marriage is one big adventure that I never want to end. You get out of it what you put in to it, you have to be up for anything, and I wouldn’t change a damn thing.